Friday, December 3, 2010


Well I finally got some sleep last night. I usually take one Melatonin at night. Well last night, I took two and that seemed to help me somewhat. I remember waking up several times, but I was able to at least fall back asleep.

I know that lately this blog has been all "puppies and rainbows", but more serious and somewhat of a downer. I read other people's blog and it all happy and cheerful. That is just their writing style. Mine is more of a raw style to let other people in my situation remember that they are not ALONE. Alone is a very scary word. The idea that I am the only mom that struggles with being happy as she deals with her child is isolating. It is scary to wonder if I’m the only mom who tries to be gentle with her words, but most of the time fails miserably and raises her voice. Am I the only mom that has more “God, I really messed that up” followed by “Colton, Mommy was mean/rude/impatient will you please forgive me” moments than “Ha! Nailed that one. Good job” moments? I do admit I am not a patient person. If I am doing something, I want it done NOW. Sometimes I question if I should have even had a baby. Kids are not quick to do anything (except make a mess) and I have to keep reminding myself of that. It is a process--talking, potty training, they all take time and me getting EXTREMELY frustrated isn't going to make him do it any faster. In some ways, it will probably slow the whole process down. I appreciate the comments and those who offer advice because they have "been there and done that" and from those who are right there with me--going through the same process and having the same struggles. I have to remember that just because someone is writing about all the great accomplishments that their kids are having, there are probably 2 times the same amount of failures that they are just not "reporting".

This time will pass and I just ask everyone to bear with me while I get through it---


  1. Yep ...Many times my life is extreamly hard. thats why I am MIA from my blg alot. Who wants to dwell on the hard chalenging times? My transition from 2 to 3 kid 2 under 2 has been and still is hard. Keep your chin up!

  2. I think that it completely depends on why you write our blog. If it is an outlet, then it is only natural for the bad to come with the good. My blog is for family and friends who are not near us to feel like they are getting to "know" the boys. So, I rarely talk about how they are making me want to pull my hair out.

    How you are feeling is one of the joys of being a Mom. It is such a tough job and sometimes it's thankless. But give Colton a little while longer and when he looks at you and says, "I love you, Mommy"... all the tears, worry and gray hair will be worth it!

  3. You are not alone. I am not patient and I pray for it every night:) I choose not to put most of the bad in my blog because I print it out as keepsakes for my kids when they get older. I don't want them to read about what a crazy psycho their Mom was:)

    None of us are perfect. You are doing a great job with Colton.



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